Reverb 10 : Day 30 for R

Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What's the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

 I know this may seem a bit silly.  G$ has given me lots of presents, but this may rank as one of my favorites.  He lefts this on the counter for me on Husband's Day.  I was genuinely shocked that he got a card and my favorite chocolate.

Reverb 10 : Day 29 for R

Prompt: Defining moment. Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.

Hmm...I guess changing jobs really affected my life this year.  I went from working all the time, stressed out to the nth degree, and being in a constant bad mood to a job that allows me to work smarter and more effectively.

Now I work hard, am happy at work and am a good friend/wife in my personal life.

Reverb 10 : Day 28 for R

Prompt: Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

This is a hard one.  I'm not one to ever be happy with achieving one thing without thinking about what the next one will be...So I'm really struggling with this topic.  Its easy to say you want to achieve "peace" or some sort of intangible feeling...but how do you know when you have it, and feelings of that sort aren't there to stay forever.  So a feeling that I want to achieve...that's hard.

Maybe a state of mind..?  I guess that's a bit more doable.  I recently had lunch with a friend, and she's adjusted to a new state of mind, and in that seems to have some mental peace.  But I struggle with a state of mind that I'd want to achieve that wouldn't change with how I look at the world.

Maybe, a task?  Does traveling to a new country, losing 10 pounds, or learning how to make wine - do those things count?

I think I'll just say that I want to achieve 30 new experiences (courtesy of the 30 things list).  I've gotten a handful under my belt.  I think after the 30 new experiences, I'll learn more about myself and my courage (which I never think I have).

As I sit and think of new things I want to try, I'll simply add them to my list so that it continues to challenge me.

Reverb 10 : Day 27 for R

Prompt: Ordinary joy. Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year?

Profound joy in ordinary moments.  I think I find an extreme amount of joy cooking and having a nice evening at home.  On Christmas Eve, G$ and I just did what we do best:  have a movie marathon, make an amazing meal, and just sit in our jammies.  Don't get me wrong, we both love to go out and are truly a social couple. But I love nothing more than staying in with good movies, great food and yummy wine.

Another joyful moment was (and I've written about this already) a couple of moments from N's 30th weekend:

• Bumming around N's house with the girls
• High tea with the ladies

Reverb 10 : Day 26 for R

Prompt: Soul food. What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

I think the one thing I ate this year that I will never forget is the "Oysters and Pearls" at The French Laundry:

(Photo courtesy of www.ericandrachel.net/index.html)

It was probably one of the most decadent things I've eaten, and one thing I will always remember.

Reverb 10 : Day 25 for R

Prompt: Photo - a present to yourself. Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

Taken at AA's wedding in July 2010 with CorkPopper

Reveals:  My fun, playful, mischevious side :) (that I strive to show more often)

Reverb 10 : Day 24 for R

Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

Will anything ever be ok?  And when can you stop holding your breath for the other shoe to drop?  Unfortunately, I feel like I'm always waiting for that shoe to drop...for things to not be ok.  I think there are moments this year that have shown that some things don't matter as much as others - but even then, those moments didn't take away my constant fear of the other shoe dropping.

I'm always worrying about my work, G$'s work, illnesses (I am a classic hypochondriac), deaths, relationships ending, etc. 

If I had to pick a moment that I felt like I'd be ok even if everything I hold dear to me disappeared...I would have to pick the second week of November.  It had been an intense week and I remember laying down and thinking - as much as this all sucks, I'll pick myself up and survive.

Have a Jolly Holiday!

I don't really celebrate Christmas in a huge way, but I'm such a sucker for the holiday and everything leading up to it. I mean, I was seriously annoyed when I got a white cup at Starbucks yesterday instead of a red one.

I would love to keep track of Santa's travels here, have a party with a table like this:

and spend weeks wrapping presents like this:

So while I'm off to see this for the first time ever:

and then to enjoy this with R:

I'll be taking a break from this Reverb 10 thing and then catching up on ALL of them. Have a fabulous, food-filled, fun-filled, and booze-filled couple of weeks!

Reverb 10: Day 24 for N

Day 24 Prompt: Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I really can't pinpoint an exact moment, but I do remember the exact time this year when I thought everything wasn't going to be alright. That pity party did the trick - things can only look up afterwards. I refuse to be one of those women who complains about everything in her life when it's actually a pretty great life. Anyway, everything is alright and will continue to be alright, and I'll keep reminding myself of that next year as I'm doing now.

Reverb 10: Day 23 for N

Day 23 Prompt: New name. Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

The fake name that I usually give to unwelcome friends in bars is Anita. I'm not sure why, since I'm not a huge fan of that name (no offense to the Anitas out there). In general, I'm content with my current name. If the new name would be just for a day, I'd choose one that's pretty but surprising to catch people off guard...like Saffron or Luna or Athena or something. Not Princess Consuela Bananahammock. :)

Christmas Carol Fun - Name that Christmas Carol

Courtesy of Ree:

1. Bleached Yule



2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration


3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors


4. Righteous Darkness


5. Arrival Time 2400 hrs - Weather Cloudless


6. Loyal Followers Advance


7. Far Off in a Feeder


8. Array the Corridor


9. Bantam Male Percussionist


10. Monarchial Triad


11. Nocturnal Noiselessness


12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers


13. Red Man En Route to Borough


14. Frozen Precipitation Commence


15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle


16. The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis


17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant


18. Delight for this Planet


19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings


20. The Dozen Festive 24-Hour Intervals

Reverb 10 : Day 22 for R

Day 22 Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

This year there were no super exotic foreign locations in my future.  However, I did travel to:

Las Vegas (twice); Bozeman, MT; Valdosta, GA (twice); Wine Country (3 times if that counts); Chicago, IL; Los Angeles, CA (7 times); Salt Lake City, UT; Seattle, WA; Santa Barbara, CA (twice); San Luis Obispo, CA; Atlanta, GA (twice); Raleigh, NC; Boulder / Colorado Springs, CO; Austin, TX.

Lots of new domestic adventures...and a ton of fun. :)

Next year, I'm hoping for ULC reunion in Sonoma, trips to ATL and Raleigh (which are constant), a trip to Spain with G$, and a R/N adventure :)

Reverb 10: Day 22 for N

Day 22 Prompt: Travel. How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

How did I travel? As in, plane vs car? Planned vs spontaneous? Alone vs not alone? I'm not sure what that question is asking. I didn't visit a ton of exotic places but it was still a great year, travel-wise. Some of my trips were planned based on specific occasions, a couple were for work, and some were just random for fun. All of them, except for Greece, were with the intent of visiting family or friends. This year I went to Savannah, the Bay Area, Memphis, Philly, DC, Santa Barbara, Greece, Albany, Valdosta, and Atlanta (6 times - wow). Between now and 2011, I'll also visit Long Island and hop back to the Bay Area.

I hope next year's travel is just as unexpected and random. I'm definitely planning on the normal trips to ATL, hopefully Sonoma with the girls, and hopefully somewhere exotic with R (Indonesia? Croatia? South Pacific?). Anywhere that offers some version of this:

Reverb 10: Day 21 for N

Day 21 Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

I have absolutely no idea where I'll be or what I'll be doing five years from now, and I'm really excited about that. The advice I'd give my future self involves the same things I've been blogging about almost every day now:

Don't stand in your own way. Take advantage of every opportunity and the freedom that you currently have. If you make a wrong choice, learn from it rather than kicking yourself. Be bold and brave while staying true to yourself. Live your life by your own timeline rather than society's.

As for what I'd tell 20-year-old N:

After college, it won't matter what grades you made or what classes you took. Experiences, both in work and in life, teach you the majority of what you need to learn. Don't let anyone convince you that you need to act a certain way or that there is something wrong with you. Don't be so afraid of telling people things they don't want to hear that it takes a toll on your own life. Cut the wrong people out, and let the right people in. If you let the wrong people in, don't let the bad experiences taint your future, because not everyone is the same. Make sure you read firsthand the ingredients on all packaged food in case someone's trying to sneak you some walnuts. Don't drink an Irish car bomb after the Bailey's has curdled in the Guinness.

I also have one piece of advice for the R of 2000: Put anti-frizz serum in your hair if you know you're about to be caught in a drama-fest on the side of the street all night.

Reverb 10 : Day 21 for R

Prompt: Future self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

YIPPPEEEE! I love these sort of posts and thought provoking questions.  Back in 2004 on New Years Eve, N and I made a predictions list for each other one year out and 5 years out. 

So, I'll do this backwards and start with the bonus question first.

If I was writing a note to myself ten years ago...let's see where I was then.  It was 2000 (about to be 2001).  N and I were going to spend New Years in Florida with some friends and were in our sophomore year of college.  In 2001, I would start dating someone who would tarnish most of my college experience.  So here's what it would say:

To R,
Rather than trying to control each situation, take a big deep breath and relax.  College is supposed to be an educational experience, with some fun mixed in.  An experience where you will enjoy living with friends, and building friendships that will last a lifetime (shoutout to J and L-Woww!).  Your main three priorities should be:  school, family, and friends. Boys can wait.  A boy that doesn't treat you well, one that tries to control you, one who puts you down every day until you stop enjoying activities (like food!), one that tries to keep you away from your friend - this is not one that you want to keep in your life.  Letting him do that to you for 3+ years will only break you down, and it takes serious time to build yourself back up again.
You are a kind, caring, compassionate friend, daughter, person.  Know that many people love you.

Love,
Future R

Ok, now if I imagine myself five years ahead...I see that either G$ and I have decided if we'd like to have a family. 

• If I go down the family route:  I'd like to see myself with a small child (SCARY!), and working part time.  I'd like to see that we've moved back to the dirrrrty south with a modest home.  I'd like to see that G$ and I still enjoy good food, wine and each other's company.  I'd also like to see that we've traveled to a new continent and explored it together.
• If I go down the no-family route:  I have a hard time seeing where G$ and I would live.  But here's what I do see:  I've reached a status in my career where I'm managing a team and on track to become a VP. G$ and I attempt to travel together every 18 months, and also choose to travel with our individual friends (guys trips / girls trips) on the alternating schedule.  My relationship with my family and friends continues to stay strong, and my marriage continues to be exciting.

So, regardless of which track, I think the message is the same:

Enjoy life, enjoy experiences...work to live but don't live to work.  Take the time needed to feed my marriage so it stays healthy, and the same with friendships.  Try to see the world while you can.

Reverb 10 : Day 20 for R

Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

This year I should have confronted some people/situations head on.  I've had some relationships change and new relationships enter my life in the past 2-3 years.  Its no secret that I'm still trying to figure out how to communicate with my new family.  There were times when I should have said "no" or voiced my opinion on things, or communicated better with G$ so that we were a united front (rather than just fighting with him).

In the past few weeks, G$ and I have done a better job of being a united front and saying "no."  I can only hope that this continues next year and we do set some boundaries.

Reverb 10 : Day 19 for R

Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

Time. As I mentioned in an earlier post I had been harboring anger for most of the last two years.  As time went by and my anger cooled, I started healing.  This was definitely a drip by drip evolution.  I'm finally at a point where those wounds have healed, and where I may not be at a point to forgive / forget, I'm definitely at a point to simply move on.

In 2011, I'm not really sure how I'd like to be healed.  I guess we'll just have to see.

Reverb 10 : Day 18 for R

Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn't go for it?

In 2011, I want to try to eat dinner at the dining room table regularly.  I think its important for us to be sitting together at the table, rather than glued to the tv at the coffee table.  We'll see if this happens!

In 2010, I wanted to try scuba diving.  Unfortunately, the timing did not work well.  We will be taking lessons in 2011!  Lots of new things for me :)

Reverb 10: Days 18-20 for N

My "no procrastination" promise doesn't start until 2011, right? I've put off these posts because I don't really know how to answer any of these questions.

Day 20 Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn't because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy, or otherwise deterred from doing?

I should have focused more this year. At times, I got really preoccupied with whatever random things were going on in my life and I paid less attention to day-to-day errands, work (sadly), and friends/family (sadly). This was due to all of the reasons listed in the question above.


Day 19 Prompt: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

Well first I have to determine what needed to be healed. I think that the experiences I had this year, whether they related to work, travel, or relationships, all interwove to heal me of my fear of the unknown. I slowly learned to notice whether or not I have a gut feeling about something and when to trust that feeling. That's kind of a big deal for someone who always needed a sound, logical, explainable reason for doing anything. I mean, I couldn't even commit to stating what my favorite color was. I'd like to continue working on these things in 2011.


Day 18 Prompt: Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn't go for it?

I want to try whatever I can! I want to try to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way. Go backwards and read my Day 19 answer for elaboration. Surprisingly, I can't think of anything major that I wanted to try in 2010 and didn't go for.

Reverb 10 : Day 17 for R

Day 17 Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Hmm....the best thing I have learned this year has been that I tend to have unrealistic expectation from other people, and that I should stop.  This has been a hard one for me to grasp.  I have learned this year that I tend to have unreal expectations from G$, family and friends. 

I'm going to try to just be happy in the moment and have small expectations.  Everyone's different, and I need to embrace that more.

Reverb 10: Day 17 for N

Day 17 Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I've definitely already given this answer for something, but I'll repeat myself. This year, I learned that I have a voice. No, not a singing voice. I mean that sometimes I actually have things to say. Sometimes people even want to hear those things. Next year, I mainly hope to apply this lesson to my career by being more vocal and visible. In my personal life, I just hope to continue to use my voice while remaining aware enough to know when to shut up!

Reverb 10 : Day 16 for R

Day 16 Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective of the world this year? Was this change gradual or a sudden burst?

I have three!  So I've listed the out and why below:

1.  Miss N.  Like she said, its surprising that after being friends our entire lives she can still change my viewpoint and perspective on things.  N has really taught me to handle situations better.  Like she says "at the end of the day, you'll do the right thing" and allows me to vent with her and then put a smile on my face and do the right thing with others.  She's taught me that I'm a good person and changed my perspective that not everyone is a good person, and to focus my energies on those who are.  She's also given me the opportunity to be her sounding board this year (for the first time EVER!) and therefore shown me that I can be wiser than I think.  She continues to be my cheerleader and am forever grateful.

2.  Miss Gravy Train.  Last year, she was a great friend to me as we were both in our first years of marrige.  This year she has provided value by listening to me during good and bad times.  She's shown me that no matter who we are, we all have the same challenges in our relationship.  Hearing that helped me realize that "I'm not alone" and also just reinforced that I can come to her and value her opinion, as she's probably experienced it in some form or another.  She's also showing me ways to deal with passive agressiveness.  This change has been gradual as well.

3.  Miss Studio G.  Miss Studio G is the Caroline Manzo of our group.  She really is there as a wise leader.  She teaches us things from her Bible and often sends us emails letting her know how she appreciates us in her life.  This year, I watched Miss Studio G be the strong pillar in her family.  She's shown me that no matter what's going on, wives are truly the foundation of a marriage/family.  There were times this year where I was truly in awe with her.  She also surprises me constantly with always asking "how are you" and truly being interested in that answer.  The perspective change with her was a sudden burst.

There you have it - three strong women who have shown/taught me something this year that I hope to never forget.

Reverb 10: Day 16 for N

Day 16 Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective of the world this year? Was this change gradual or a sudden burst?

Shout out to my blog buddy! I have to say that R has changed my perspectives this year. I was actually pretty surprised by this because I didn't expect to learn things from someone I've known for a million years already. Remember that episode of Friends where Rachel let Monica control her love life? I didn't make R do that exactly, but she has been thrust into the role of my dating guru at times. I've gotten new views on how my comfort zone might be holding me back and have been able to see different sides of situations. We all need a push and a sanity check sometimes. This is a gradual, ongoing process which will probably continue for years to come, but I've certainly learned a lot so far.

Reverb 10: Day 15 for N

Day 15 Prompt: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

• being called "tall" by a 2 year old
• Greece: in particular, the segway tour of Athens, befriending owners of a local restaurant, and mornings in Santorini
• two separate incidents of yelling at a pizza man on the phone at 2am for not instinctively knowing at what address I was located - I blame R for both of these
• July 4th weekend
• 30th birthday weekend: in particular, hanging at home with all the girls and going to high tea
• the slumber party at my place for Ms. M's birthday
• Memorial Day weekend in ATL
  

Reverb 10 : Day 15 for R

Prompt: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

Wow...five minutes.  This is actually one of my biggest fears - losing my memory and forgetting everything.  I take pictures obsessively and try to write things down so that if it happens, G$ could have a record of my life. 

I would have a collage of memories, which I've listed out below:

• Random Sonoma anniversary dinner with G$ which consisted of white cheddar popcorn, bugels, and a diet coke.  - Reminds me that we can enjoy any experience
• N's 30th birthday in Raleigh:  Out of everything, I want to remember the karaoke and the watching of Love Actually while laying on N's floor on Friday night.  Reminds me of being in college.
• Sitting at the wine bar in Bodega Bay
• Meeting G$'s friends in Chicago and seeing him interact with some of his favorite people
• Dinner at French Laundry
• Getting lost at a hotel in Napa with D and trying to find the pool - this is just something that makes me laugh really hard

Let's hope I never lose my memory :)

Reverb 10: Day 14 for N

Day 14 Prompt: Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

This year, I've realized the value of advice. I never asked for it much in the past, probably because I just didn't have much going on or only liked to talk about myself with a few select people. However, I've learned to just put some things out there now and get opinions - from old friends, new friends, family, etc. - whether or not I actually like or follow what they say. It turns out that I know some really wise people! I've gotten great input on things ranging from what shoes to wear with an outfit to what to do with the rest of my life. Plus, asking for advice is a great way to find out more about others and their life experiences while simultaneously learning about yourself.

Reverb 10 : Day 14 for R

Prompt: Appreciate. What's the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

I've come to appreciate routine and stability in my life. 

When I was younger, I used to love drama and equated drama to having an exciting life.  As college wrapped up, I truly felt like I had hit my lifetime limit of drama (right N?!).  College taught me that not all drama is good drama - we saw some pretty intense stuff, which lead me finally understand that drama isn't always exciting and your life is better without it.

This year (compared to last) has been a bit more predictable (even with it being busy and the house flood situation).  I now live for the weeks that are stable and routing (go to work, go to the gym, eat dinner, sleep and repeat).  I even now live for weekends where I can sleep in my own bed without my makeup on (sounds sketchy, but its not). 

While conversing with N, she also brought up one thing that I need to learn to appreciate:  myself.

I'm very quick to assume that I don't bring value to situations and that I am not able to handle certain things.  That needs to change, because looking back in various situations and relationships, I really do think that I have provided value and I need to start believing that.

Reverb 10: Day 13 for N

Day 13 Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, it's not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

As mentioned in my last post, my aspiration is to take over the world. My next steps are as follows, in no particular order:

• Win as many games of lexulous as humanly possible
• Come up with an idea to sell to Google and ride their coattails to the top of the world
• Set a new world record for the largest slice of cake ever consumed or the greatest number of times Love Actually has been viewed in a year
• Make a random video of nonsense go viral
• Sneak into the bridal party of a celebrity wedding
• Sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl
• Wear something strange and get it to become the hottest new trend
• Earn 10 million airline miles like George Clooney in Up in the Air
• Keep a spreadsheet to track how much money I save using Groupon, LivingSocial, and grocery store rewards cards and put the money towards the purchase of rice for all the starving people in India
• Convince Oprah to let me take over her show once she leaves
• Build a high-speed monorail that connects R and I to the fabulous places we want to go (the rest of you are welcome to bid on the empty seats sometimes ;) )
  
• Create a new personality test to overtake Myers Briggs, based on the way people color pictures

Reverb 10 : Day 13 for R

Prompt: Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

Revisiting my priorities list is something I want to accomplish in the first part of 2011.  I want to really look at my priorities and reshuffle the list.  I think when I entered my marriage, I forgot to add "me" to my priority list.  So in 2011, I want to relook at my priority list and add "me" as one of my top proirities (I know that sounds selfish).  But I want to make sure that I do something monthly that is for my health and well being.

Reverb 10 : Day 12 for R

Prompt: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I think it would have to be my trip to spa back in April.  I had just gotten back from a slew of business trips, had a late night on Friday night so a trip to my happy place was definitely in order!  I went with Gravy Train, and we each had a massage and then hung out in the jacuzzi / mist room / sauna together.  During that 60 minute massage, I simply stopped my random thoughts and just enjoyed the moment.  I truly felt like I was in that moment enjoying each minute.

Reverb 10: Day 12 for N

Day 12 Prompt: Body Integration. This year, when did you feel most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

I'm not really zenic enough (yes, that's the adjective form of "zen" - I looked it up) to answer this question. I have a LOT of trouble getting out of my own head and just being present in the moment. So the only thing that comes to mind for this is pretty generic: yoga. Being distracted is not really an option during yoga unless you want to fall on your butt or contort your body in some completely inhuman way. I guess that's why I like it, because it forces me not to think about my grocery list, what to wear the next day, or how to go about taking over the world...

Reverb 10 : Day 10 for R

Day 10 Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Its no secret that marriage is a relationship that requires constant nurture and feeding so it will be a successful union.  The wisest decision that I made this year is the decision to stop expecting G$ to know / understand what I feel and rather I have decided that if I want him to feel what I'm feeling, I just need to talk to him.  And if after talking to him about a situation, I can't expect him to feel the same as I do.  I know this may sound obvious, but I always just assumed him to understand what I was feeling and be 100% as passionate about it as I was.  

So far, its been working really well.  I feel like our communication is much clearer and we're back to enjoying debates with each other.

Reverb 10 : Day 11 for R

Day 11 Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Like N mentioned, I found this prompt very intimidating.  But here goes:

1.  Feeling guilty.  I literally feel guilty about anything and everything.  This must stop.

2.  Not recycling anything besides wine bottles.

3.  Feeling self conscious at the gym.

4.  Like N - fear of confrontations

5.  Caring too much of what people think

6.  Not taking my vitamins

7.  Not taking my makeup off before bed if I've had 1+ glasses of wine

8.  Wearing heals all the time

9.  Worrying about things outside of my control

10.  Not calling people back in a timely fashion

11.  Addiction to online shopping...hahaha :)

Getting rid of some of these items will make me more laid back and allow me to focus my energy on items that truly deserve it.

Reverb 10: Day 11 for N

Day 11 Prompt: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

This sounds eerily like 11 new years' resolutions to me. I rarely make resolutions, so this will be tricky. There are oodles of things that my life doesn't need, but do I still like and enjoy some of them? Of course. There are also oodles of things that I don't need or want - like my root beer belly - that I just can't seem to get rid of. Below are 11 things that I feel comfortable listing.

1. Long PJ pants. I say this because I just tripped over the ones I'm wearing and hurt my toe. I need to just sit down and hem them all.
2. Procrastination. I've gotten worse at this in my old age and need to stop.
3. Dehydration. Must. Drink. More. Water.
4. Avoidance of confrontation. R is trying to help me with this. I need to start telling people when they do stuff that bothers me, in an effort to better us all.
5. Grazing. I need to stop randomly munching on food when I'm at home and thinking that it's ok since no one can see me.
6. A pushover personality. I guess this goes along with #4.
7. Disconnects. Keeping in touch with people is not my forte. With all the forms of communication to choose from now, I should be better at this.
8. Lack of "go-to" items. I should no longer be bitching that I don't have the perfect default black top, LBD, or black pumps.
9. Timidity. I've gotten better at being spontaneous/bold (relatively speaking), and I intend to take it one step further.
10. Lack of skin care. Another pitfall of old age. I can no longer forget to take off my makeup before bed, exfoliate, or use eye cream. If I do, it is painfully obvious to everyone who faces me.
11. Uncertainty. It'd be useful if I could actually make decisions and stick with them.

Reverb 10 : Day 9 for R

Day 9 Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

This year has definitely been filled with many parties!  I adored each wedding I went to for different reasons, where it became too hard to pick just one.  But I'll share two fun parties this year:

• The French Laundry for Gravy Train's husbands 30th birthday.  G$ and I were so honored to be invited! All ten of us dressed up - the boys in fine suits, the birthday boy in a tuxedo, and the ladies in lovely dresses.  Gravy Train, her MIL and myself were all in black/white printed dressed.  We took a limo up to Napa with some bubbles. We had a private room at The French Laundry, 14 courses of food with wine and bread pairing.  Definintely a memorable night, but some of the highlights were:  Oysters and Pearls, 1967 Riesling (smelled like paint thinner, but was definitely amazing) and 1978 Ridge Cab Sauv.  YUMMM!  After dinner and our trip home, Gravy Train and I stayed up until 6:00 am and gossiped.  A great way to end a fantastic night!
• My second fun party memory of the year was the weekend in ATL for Memorial Day.  A fun weekend with my lovely girlfriends filled with food and cocktails and all sorts of amazingness.

Reverb 10: Day 10 for N

Day 10 Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Early this year I decided to foray into online dating and to actually be proactive with it. Sure, 96% of the people who send me their profiles are creepy, old, have HORRIBLE grammar, or have taken self-portraits using ghetto cell phone cameras, but I'm still glad I'm doing it. I mean, isn't being faced with a smorgasbord of dudes the most efficient way to figure out what you want while having some great dates in the meantime and making some friends? I'm still chronically single, but at least now I'm having fun with it!

Reverb 10: Day 9 for N

Day 9 Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Easy peasy! I was fortunate enough to have a good number of awesome social gatherings this year, but the best would have to be the celebration for the Big 3-0.

Reverb 10 : Day 8 for R

Day 8 Prompt: Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.



In hopes that this doesn't make me vain either (but let's be honest, I am vain) and here are the things I came up with:

1.  Genuine enthusiasm I have for other people, their situations, and things
2.  As scatterbrained as I may seem, I have a knack for listening to people, outlining their thoughts, and coming to conclusions or suggestions
3.  A fantastic memory
4.  Letting people know they're being thought of or that something reminded me of them (sending texts, saving a sticker I think you'd like, buying G$ snickers bars or a yummy chocolate when I make a random grocery store run)
5.  N thought I should add my "fat man" laugh which lets people know when I find something EXTREMELY high-larious.
6.  And then for N and I both, our expressive eyes.  I think we're both able to have conversations with people just by using our eyes.

I also think that I'm a walking contradiction:  I come off as outgoing, but inwardly am a shy and private person; act as an airhead but am quite proud of my intellect, act confident but inwardly overthink any situation.

Reverb 10: Day 8 for N

Day 8 Prompt: Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

This is getting harder and harder each day! With my fingers crossed that I don't come off as vain, I give you the following list:

• I'm a walking contradiction: I'm mature but childish, shy and introverted but talkative and outgoing, organized but messy, lazy but active, confident but insecure, a leader but a follower. I can replace an air filter, change the flapper valve in a toilet, and use a power drill but am a girly girl.
  
• I'm sarcastic. When this "lights people up," they refer to me as sassy or feisty. When this annoys people, they don't quite see it the same way. :)
  
• I have a dimple in my left cheek and a chicken pock scar in my right cheek.
• I'm nurturing.
  
• I haven't had many life experiences but use what I've learned from TV, books, and observation to give damn good advice sometimes.
• I'm the shortest person I've ever met.
• I'm pretty low-maintenance. I don't expect much from people or get angry often, and small gestures mean everything to me.
  

Reverb 10: Day 7 for N

Day 7 Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create, or more deeply connect with in 2011?

In case you haven't heard of Meetup, I'll explain what it is. It allows people to create groups (public or private) for those with common interests in their areas. You can choose to participate or to opt out of whatever you want. This is awesome for me because I can bail on activities at the last minute without making anyone angry. ;) I was looking for a book club last year and managed to join a handful of groups that looked fun. This year I've been more active and have found - besides book clubs - people to volunteer with, fellow single girls to hang out with, and a connection to the Indian community. The internet is awesome.

Reverb 10 : Day 7 for R

Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

So, my new community this year is my work community.  Last year, I was in a toxic work community filled with jealousy, vengence, and spite.  It started to really affect my personal and professional life.  There were days I didn't want to go to work because I didn't like the people there. 

In January I moved to a new company in a position that I truly am challenged by and like.  The work people are mature, fun, and professional.  We definitely have a good time at work events, trips, meetings - but no one has any hidden agendas or tries to make anyone else's life miserable.  It way better.

Reverb 10: Day 6 for N

Day 6 Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make but you need to clear some time for it?

Hmm. I don't really make stuff. If I'm talking literally (and excluding food), the last thing I made was a reaction at work today. Other than that, it was probably the painting I made at Wine & Design. The studio provided the canvas, paint, brushes, and instruction, and the best part was that we could bring our own food and drinks to consume during the class. I took pasta salad, tomato/mozzarella salad, watermelon, and champagne - FYI. :) The painting still resides on my living room floor because it's definitely not wall-worthy.

As for things I'd like to make but haven't...oh, so many foods.

Reverb 10 : Day 6 for R

Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Of course the first thing I think of is "food."  Then good ole N reminded me that I have created something a bit more tangible and crafty.  The last thing I made was N's photo book.  I definitely took the easy way out using technology to help put it together.  I worked with N's mom and close friends to put together something that would be a great momento for N.  Between tons of baby photos (thanks N's mom!), great poetry (Ree! & Gravy Train!), loving notes from friends, and memorable photos of N growing up - the photo book was put together.  I used Blurb Software, primarily because I like that they support local printers and business (and G$ is trying to make them a client so I received a killer discount code).

Reverb 10 : Day 5 for R

Day 5 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Anger.  I had been harboring a lot of anger from events that unfolded at my wedding in June 2008.  I learned this year that holding all that anger in was hurting no one but myself.  I have slowly let go of the anger, and have come to a peaceful place where I don't wish ill upon anyone, but have chosen to simply cut the specific family members out of my life.  I feel like this has helped me find happiness and allows me to look back on my wedding weekend with fondness.

Reverb 10 : Day 4 for R

Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?
Wonder.  This is a hard topic for me.  As I think about the events of 2010, the one event that sparked wonder and self-reflection was the May Day Brunch.  This was the event where 20 women came together to talk about their qualities, wishes and struggles.  This definitely was one of my favorite get togethers this year.

I learned that we all struggle with the same challenges, and that I have a great network of strong women that I can lean on when I need to.

Reverb 10 : Day 3 for R

Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

For me, the moment that I felt the most free was on Friday, November 26th in Bodega Bay, CA.  G$ and I had taken off on our roadtrip with no destination.  November was quite the stressful, emotional and busy month and we were looking forward to just getting away alone.  I remember sitting on the patio of a wine bar which was on the water.  We had been in the car for most of the day, and were finally getting out to stretch our legs and take in the scenery.  As soon as we sat down, all the things that were on my mind mysteriously disappeared.  All that I really thought about was the otter in the bay, how pretty it was out here, and what the ajoining table was gossiping about.

I know this may seem like a silly moment, but its the one that truly sticks out as being a "R" moment.

Reverb 10: Day 5 for N

Day 5 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I don't have one serious answer for this, so I'll ramble because I'm holed up inside today waiting for the snow(!) to melt.

• My inability to share info with people unless they specifically ask for it
• My old-school phone in exchange for a smartphone, finally
• Monthly car payments
• The woman who cut my hair for years, because she randomly left the salon with no warning
• My sanity, at times :)

Reverb 10: Day 4 for N

Day 4 Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Guess what my answer is. I told you guys I'd be bringing this topic up for awhile! Making my "30 before 30" list forced me to think about the fact that there are so many things out there in the world that seem scary but actually don't kill you. I'm not talking about silly things like blindly ordering food from a menu; I'm talking about grabbing opportunities and always being aware that taking the smallest actions can result in great things. As a risk-averse overplanner, I'll never be the most spontaneous person on the block. I'm just glad I've learned this year that making that purchase, taking that trip, sending that email, having that talk, or going out that night when you'd rather be in your PJs will almost always be worth it.

Reverb 10: Day 3 for N

Day 3 Prompt: Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Oooh, tough one. I'll have to say Thursday, September 2. I was riding on an ATV through the hills of Santorini, Greece. I wasn't driving, so I wasn't alone, but I enjoyed the moment alone. The previous weeks were a bit hectic, and that was when it all released. The combination of the hot sun and the wind was comforting and freeing, and the smell of the Mediterranean Sea was cleansing. I didn't care what time it was or that my hair was getting messed up or that we were speeding along pseudo-roads with no traffic rules at a high altitude. I soaked in views of the reddish-brown calderas and the pristine white buildings with splashes of bright blue domed churches. Greek retsina wine and tzaziki were the tastes that lingered during the drive. There were no sounds besides the roar of the ATV, which I hardly noticed.

What did I think about? Nothing. That was the best part.

Reverb 10: Day 2 for N

Haha, I was totally going to skip this one since I wasn't sure what to say, but that is kind of the point, right? R- thanks for posting so that I am forced to do the same.

I'm not a professional blogger, so it doesn't bother me if something "doesn't contribute" to my writing. However, my dry spells are always for 1 of 2 reasons: I feel that I have nothing to say or I assume that no one is reading this thing anyway so it doesn't matter. These both reflect personality attributes that I need to improve. So I will try to eliminate them by realizing that maybe I do have things to say and that there are definitely people out there who want to hear/read those things. This is the perfect forum for it.

Reverb 10 : Day 2 for R

Day 2 Prompt: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn't contribute to your writing -- and can you eliminate it?

This one was hard for me.  Each day, I think about blogging about my random thoughts (as the blog was supposed to be), but then my work and life to do list take over, and all of a sudden its Friday and I feel like its still Monday and I have the urgent things off of my "TO DO" list but still have nothing crossed off for me.  True story - I still have a wedding gift from July to give to a couple (Sorry A - I do have it!).  SO - for me, the word that doesn't contribute to my writing is priorities.  I have been guilty of not making it a priority.

I will attempt to eliminate it in 2011 by blogging 2-3 times a week consistently.

Reverb 10 : Day 1 for R

So my word for last year is transition. 2010 was a year that I watched many close friends start the next chapter in their life and marry their other half. However, as I witnessed marriage I also saw some relationships end, as well as some good friends transition to the "engaged" phase. The end of this year will mark L-Wow marking her new adventure and moving away from the ATL. Lately, I've started to realize that I expect her to always be around when I'm in the ATL and that may not always be true starting in 2011. I've also witnessed N's metamorphosis and feel lucky to have been there as she tries new experiences. My life with G$ continues to change and this year we transitioned from newlyweds that take each other for granted (and not admitting it) to newlyweds who are trying to not take each other for granted and live in the moment. We are not there yet, but we are trying with frequent date nights and activities we like doing together.


My word for 2011 is experiences. I think my "30 before 30" list will definitely challenge me and open the door for some new experiences. Bring it on 2011!

Reverb 10: Day 1 for N

R and I have decided it'd be fun (although challenging) to participate in Reverb 10 for the month of December.

Day 1 Prompt: One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

So, the word I would use to encapsulate the year 2010 for me is metamorphosis. There were no major events that changed me, but for some reason I decided that this was the year to push out of my normal, very restrictive boundaries. I made new friends, had excellent new experiences, and learned oodles about myself and people in general. Although the overall status of my life is exactly the same as it was a year ago, I've changed internally. And I think that's a good thing. :)

As for 2011, I'd like the descriptive word to be answers. I can't really explain it, but that's what I want.