Happy Birthday N!

It always makes me giggle when I think of how N and I used to really dislike each other when we were kids.  It was a fortuitous moment on a band trip when we realized that we were meant to be friends.

Happy Birthday N!  Thank you for being my friend :)

Hip to Be Square

I was recently a programming chair for a conference themed "Dare to Be You."  Initially, I was blindly inspired by that phrase without thinking about how it applied to me.  When I did, however, I was confused.  As a kid I always followed rules, studied, and listened to my parents; as an adult, I've always worked in corporate America with a 401(k) and don't date wild and crazy people.  Am I someone who hasn't Dared to be Me since I've followed the beaten path?  The answer is no.  With all the changes in industry and society nowadays, it's easy to be convinced that being "real" means doing something outside of the norm.  For some of us, however, our passions and preferences just happen to be things that are sometimes unfairly judged as commonplace.

When I say I'm a chemical engineer, the response is often "Yawn.  You're Indian, therefore your parents forced you to be either an engineer or a doctor.  Way to break the mold."  They couldn't be more wrong.  I like science and math.  I like the industry in which I work.  If that's what I'm pursuing, isn't that similar to an artist practicing his/her craft?  I really admire my peers who have dropped everything to start non-profits that change the world.  I would gladly volunteer with them and support them.  However, it's not what I want for my career.

On to social situations.  As we get older, I more frequently hear "I'm tired of weddings and all the hype.  They're such a waste, what's the point, etc., etc.  I don't get why people have them."  I completely respect the fact that not everyone wants that; it's a very personal preference.  However, is it fair to judge those who do?  If I were to get married, I'd want a diamond and bachelorette party and a traditional ceremony with all my family/friends.  I would hate for some of them to sit there thinking about how stupid it is.

Back to my initial point.   I think that Daring to be Me means that I should embrace the fact that I want what I want for my life, regardless of how ordinary it may sound to others.  And I should embrace the fact that my short, klutzy, sassy, practical, food-loving, nail polish-obsessed self will pursue it.

New Black Eyeliner Must Have

As most of you can tell, I'm a loyal brand/product shopper.  If I find something I like, I find very little reason to buy a competing product. 

For years, I've been a loyal Dior Liquid Liner shopper and advocate.  N can vouch that I pushed that product on everyone I know.  I tried Smashbox, L'Oreal, Estee Lauder, NARS, MAC and nothing worked as great until Dior.

Right before we left for our Thai adventure, I ran out of Dior completely.  I freaked out and tried to determine how to best get a new eyeliner before we left.  Unfortunately, I did not have time to make it to a department store, so I stopped at ULTA to buy a cheaper drugstore brand.

Upon talking to the sales associate, she recommended I try Stila Cosmetics Waterproof Liner.  It was $20, and she mentioned that I could return it if I didn't like it - so what did I have to lose.

I've been using this eyeliner for the past 3 weeks now.  I LOVE the superfine tip, it makes a thin line or a cat eye or a thicker line all doable.  The liquid consistency is amazing and allows for easy feathering. 

And with it being $15 cheaper and the variety of colors, I think I have found my new eyeliner!

Nailed It, Part 5: Polka Dots

Wow, it's been almost a year since my last nail post!  Polka dots seem so summery to me, but painting them all over all my nails takes more patience than I possess.  So lately my favorite trend is minimalistic polka dots.  If you are using the brush that came with the polish (as I do) rather than specialty nail brushes, then I don't recommend painting the dots with OPI.  Essie and Zoya have smaller brushes that work great for dots, while OPI's are designed more for complete nail coverage.

[Zoya Wednesday (I think)  + Buffy]

A Week without Facebook

A week without Facebook sounds so silly when we think about people around the world that live without food, clothes, internet, etc.  

I typically take vacations as a reason to cyber-disconnect, however this year I thought about disconnecting early.  So last week, for no good reason, I decided to make it a challenge for myself.  I didn't know what to expect because I will openly admit that I'm addicted to Facebook, addicted to knowing what people are doing, what they like, where they are, what they're taking pictures of - all of it.  It's embarrassing, but step 1 is admittance.

So here we are on a Monday morning at 8:00 am where I make this decision.  And it was hard for a couple of day, especially when I found myself wanting to not get out of bed in the morning, my old pal Facebook wasn't an option.  Also not an option when I was in a long security line, nor when I was just bored or looking for a reason to procrastinate.

So, I found that I reached over for my Nook more and read before sleep when I was in a hotel room.  Who knew reading would help me sleep more soundly.  And you know what, the world did not end without Facebook.  I found out what was happening with good friends by talking and texting with them.

So this week has been interesting now that I'm off my Facebook ban.  And  I find that I don't reach for it as often.  I check it a couple times a day, but it's no longer that constantly open tab on my browser, nor is it the first thing I check each time I reach over for my phone.  I think I may try just giving up my iPhone for a weekend and see how that goes - this may be a test for a long weekend.

And even though I'm 31, I'm counting this on my 30 before 30 list :)

New Favorite Thing: Cauliflower Rice

After becoming gluten intolerant, I've been relying on corn, rice and quinoa products.  Quinoa pasta is definitely my favorite, and I enjoy using it as a grain in replacement for rice.  However, as much as I would love to eat nothing but rice all day - I've learned I definitely need to limit my rice intake where possible.

A good friend of mine, who is intolerant to ALL grains, recommended using cauliflower as my "rice" for Thai food.  I was skeptical, as was G$, however it's definitely a great substitute!

Here's a recipe:

What you need:

• Cauliflower head cut up in fourths
• Steamer
• Pinch of Salt
• Microwave

Instructions:

Use a mandalin, chopper or just a knife to finely chop the cauliflower.  The finer the chop, the closer it will be like rice.  Then stick it in the steamer with a pinch of salt.  Be sure to not add any water, as cauliflower has a ton of moisture.  Then microwave for 4 minutes in the steamer.

Voila!  Cauliflower rice.  Layer it under your favorite curry.  I'm enjoying mine with Jungle Curry leftovers.

Thoughts on Women in Tech and Equality

I apologize in advance on my rambling in this post.  If this is to be my online diary and you choose to read it, then this is what you get :)  I also know everyone has their own opinions and perspectives, however these are mine.  I'm not attempting to start an argument, rather putting my thoughts on virtual paper.

Lately, I've been reading so many articles about women in tech.  From how women should behave to succeed to how they have been discriminated.  Being a woman in tech (a successful I would like to think), I don't really see a real truth in either side.  

One of the articles I read today, there was a woman complaining about her coworkers checking out a booth babe.  Now, I have coworkers that check out booth babes, good looking women in Starbucks while I'm with them...but by the same token, I'm commenting on the good looking guy that's walking by.   I feel that if I'm going to dish it out, I should also learn to take it.  I also believe going to an engineering school has taught me to have guy humor, no matter how gross or offensive - I think most guy things are funny.  Now, you can argue that there is a time/place for that - and I agree, work isn't always the right place.  However, if you're out in a dinner/drinks situation (which I usually am), then I think it becomes more of a social engagement.  Rather than focusing on women in tech being discriminated, shouldn't there be a larger argument?  If I don't feel offended with my guy friends making jokes or checking out girls, can I hold my coworkers at dinner at the same standard?

And I do agree, it's harder for women to juggle work and family life.  When most kids are sick, they want their mother.  How does a mother juggle that with working?  However, I lately feel like people (men more than women) judge me for not having children (I promise I'm not making this up, actual comments have been made).  In the interview with the Facebook COO, she clearly states that women shouldn't have to feel guilty to not put her kids to sleep or when she can't take them to their soccer games.  I've worked with many women who have done a great job of juggling both.  I also think it's important to lay those boundaries down (whether its with kids, family, leaving at 5 so you can see some sunshine) early.  I do feel like employers will respect you more.  Especially in this day and age, anything I do at 4, I can do at 9 pm, 6 am the next day.  As long as you can stay true to yourself and feel confident in your decision, that's the most important thing.

I decided to change my profile picture to the equality sign today.  I believe that everyone should have the same rights.  Also, as a scientist (okay now turned software consultant) I believe that being gay/straight is something that is part of your DNA, not something you choose.  I saw someone on Facebook turn her profile picture to the unequal sign, and I can't even express how much that pissed me off.  Who are we (as humans) to tell another human that they aren't equal to us?

I just can't get over how we're still arguing about civil rights, whether it's a man vs. woman, black vs whites, or gay rights - we're all people - don't we deserve the same rights?  

Ni Time

I consider myself part introvert and part extrovert.  As much as I enjoy socializing, I have to balance it out with some time during which I don't have to talk to anyone.  Since I live alone, it's not hard to find that time.  The hard part is disconnecting - at home, my habit is to simultaneously watch TV, gchat, facebook, check out my finances, etc., etc. so that I'm still somehow interacting with the world.

When I found that this past Saturday was entirely mine, with no set plans, I opted to spend the day in San Francisco by myself.  I frequent the city but always schedule it around meeting up with friends/family.  It was a lovely day that went something like this...

8am:  Woke up.  Cursed myself for waking up "early," then realized I had slept for almost 10 hours so it was ok.  Turned on MTV2 to watch Saved by the Bell (YES, it's on every Saturday morning!).

9am:  Rolled out of bed.  Talked to the fam on the phone and wrote some emails.

10am:  Got ready and headed out.

11am:  Hit up the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market.  Made a beeline for some Blue Bottle Coffee.  Got a whole wheat orange and currant scone (sadly, scuffins were sold out).  Sat down near the live music with a view of the Bay Bridge and had my breakfast.  **Note:  I'm too lazy to eat in restaurants alone unless traveling for work.  However, this kind of eating alone is totally doable.

12am:  Sampled fruit and chocolate around the market.  Scoped out the handmade goods.  Wandered over to the stores in the Embarcadero Center.

2pm:  Arrived at Zazen (randomly found through a bloomspot deal) an hour before my scheduled massage.  Opted for a free sonic massage.  This involved listening to a track of sounds for 45 minutes while lying on a water bed that sonicated in time with the track.

3pm:  Began my aromatherapy massage session.

4:30pm:  Left the spa, almost weak from relaxation.

In sum, my point is this:  Even if the only time that you can be alone is during your commute to work, during a nice long shower, or during those 10 minutes when the kids and/or husband are asleep, savor it.  It's kind of awesome.  And necessary.

Red Carpet Recap: SAG Awards

I broke my own tradition by being too lazy to post my Golden Globes picks this year.  I'm sure the whole blogosphere (and our 1.2 readers) were shaken by this.

On to my SAG red carpet faves, in no particular order...

Marion Cotillard in Dior Haute Couture.  Playful but elegant and a great color.

Sally Field in J. Mendel.  Such a flattering choice for her all-around.

Julianna Margulies in Chado Ralph Rucci.  Rocked it.

Last but not least,

Bradley Cooper in Tom Ford.  You're welcome, ladies.

Wow....We are Old?

Early 30's doesn't actually classify as old, especially when the median age in America is 37 (fun fact from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" today).

However, in the past few months there have been some light-hearted comments and some serious events that terrify me and make me realize that we are getting older.  

Now, even though I've seen many friends marry and have children, somehow that doesn't make them old to me.  Maybe it's the fact that they are always willing to have a good time, or after a night of no sleep, their behavior reminds me of a time when they had one too many cocktails...or I had one too many...or we both did :)  For the most part, the ones that have had children are still "young" except with a new mini-me.

Here are some highlights that have sparked "woah - when did we get to be so old?"

• Conversation with a coworker in Vegas (after we got in for free after some name dropping but that's another story):  "What is happening here?  People just make out in clubs?  What would their moms think?"
• Conversation with N:  "I hate standing at bars, and I hate lines...and I hate having things spilled on my shoes.  Why is the music so loud?!"
• Conversation with myself:  "I am over push up bras...they make my back hurt"
• In the car with G, I will often times turn up the radio so I can dance around to catchy tunes (Hello Will.I.Am and Britney!) and sing along, G will quickly turn the radio down and say "if you want me to hear you, this needs to be at 3-4"
• My brother driving me around in my car.  (sidenote:  i was just learning to drive when he was born)
• Same brother's honor's biology (who also teaches AP anatomy) teacher was the assistant wrestling coach when N and I were mat girls in high school.  The teacher was also young enough to meet one of our high school peers when she was in college (he in grad school) and get engaged to her.
• Seeing friends go thru real events - like health scares, tumors, cancer, divorce.  
• Sitting with a Financial Planner and having a "real" retirement plan to execute on.  Good bye Ferragamo dreams made of calfskin.  

There are so many conversations and events that spark this "wow we're old" moment.  Except for the scary stuff, being "old" is better than being 19 and in college trying to figure out who I was.

Forget the serious stuff, what lighthearted things make you feel old?  Oh, did I also mention that I creak when I stand and my lower back always hurts after sleeping in beds that are not my own?

N's Friday Food Porn

Spaghetti Squash Baked "Pasta" Boats

January Meet + Greet (inspired by yes and yes)

One of the blogs I read, yes and yes, is doing a monthly meet and greet where she answers three questions.  This is a cool way to keep things interesting and reminding me to blog at least once a month :)

The questions for this month include:

1. How are you going to make this year better than last year?
2. Tell us one you've-gotta-buy-this-right-now product you love.
3. Do you have a best friend? How did you meet him/her?

So let's get started!

Question 1:  How are you going to make this year better than last year?

This one is a hard one, as I've been thinking about it since the end of December 2012.  My main goal is to continue trimming the fat in my life.  Not only is this applicable to my waistline, this is also applicable to keeping people in my life that aren't good friends, tossing out old clothes and shoes that don't make me feel my best, and start cleaning out makeup and accessories that I'm not using.  Once I really remove the clutter, I will be able to focus on the people that make me happy and the products that I truly love.

Question 2:  Tell us one you've-gotta-buy-this-right-now product you love.

I've done many blogs specific to beauty products I can't live without.  I'm currently in love with the Gap Sherpa Popover that I purchased over the holidays.  It's the coziest sweatshirt and super soft.  I've told all my male coworkers to go purchase one for their lady friends ASAP.

Question 3:  Do you have a best friend?  How did you meet him/her?

Well, for anyone who reads this blog knows that Miss N is my best friend.  We met when we  were 5 years old, didn't become friends until the end of middle school (when we were both in band playing the flute) and then transitioned to best friends at the beginning of high school (when we both realized that two cool people such as ourselves needed to join forces).  We've gone thru so much of our lives together, and have so many more adventures to look forward to :)

N's Friday Food Porn

Vegetable Wonton Soup

Scary World

Lately, I feel like I've heard of different crimes, comments, and behaviors that trigger me to think how hard and scary it is to be a woman.  Didn't we already fight the civil rights movement in the 70's and proved that women deserved the same rights (which includes safety) as men?

Yesterday, I was at work and heard a story about a girl I personally know that freaked me out.  This girl drives her car to the train, and then takes the train to work.  The other day she was walking from the train to the car, which was across the street.  As she neared her car, she saw another car of 4 men following her.  Her instincts kicked in and she turned around, and walked back to the train station.  As soon as she turned around, one of the men jumped out of the car, grabbed her and told her she wasn't going anywhere.  He was reaching into his pocket, and she took the opportunity to run.**

She ran back to the train station with the man chasing her, and she finally found another man who offered to help by stalling the chaser, while she went to the police.  She found a policeman, escaped the original chaser and learned that in the past two weeks the same situation had happened to another woman, who was kidnapped, raped and beaten.

This story terrifies me.  This woman did all the "right" things, this incident happened in daylight, in a crowded environment and wasn't calling attention to herself.  The other part that terrifies me is that other strangers saw this incident happening and chose not to do anything about it.  When did we become a culture of ignoring our fellow man?  This poor girl is now terrified to be alone and doesn't want to leave her home.  What exactly did she do to deserve this?

Hearing this story in the US after the rape in India makes me truly believe this is a worldwide epidemic.  A good friend of our's uncle, wrote an amazing article about how India has let women down.  But I don't think we can only focus on India - the world has let women down.

We have politicians who feel like they can make decisions about our bodies and well being.  People who say that if you're impregnated thru rape, it's a blessing.  Women shouldn't wear jeans, as a way to stop tempting men.  A guru in India said that if the woman had asked God properly, the rape would have stopped. SERIOUSLY?!  PROPERLY?!

This is just sick.

And what kind of men have the thoughts of "today is a sunny day, maybe I'll rape a woman today."  

This is just a sad world we live in.

**I can't imagine running away from a bad guy with my work attired - laptop bags, purses, heels!  And the fact that no one helped is insane to me.  Even if you don't want to get involved, call 911!

N's Friday Food Porn

Butternut Squash and Black Bean Enchilada Skillet