2011 has been quite an interesting year for me. This biggest thing I learned this year was around friends/friendships. I've learn this year to let go of some friendships completely and that some friendships change.
Letting go of a friendship is something that is very hard for me to do, and I've only done it a handful of times (if even that) in my life. However, as the beginning of this year, I saw two friends that thought the worst of me, judged me for the things I have and the people I choose to spend time with, and were not happy for my accomplishments. They also chose to lash out at me at a public event that I attended alone. After many tears and thoughts, I decided to let them go. After all, who needs someone in your life that isn't truly happy for you. There are definitely times that it hurts and I miss the friendship we have, but we've all grown up and chosen separate paths.
Adapting to change in a friendship is also difficult. You spend so much time cultivating a relationship and as life changes, I had to realize that friendships have to change too. There are a couple of friendships that I have that are "surface" friendships. These are people who don't take an interest in my life, proactively ask questions about me, and spend most of their time simply talking about themselves. Unfortunately, life is too short and time is too limited to invest much in these relationships. These are ones now that I have to stop investing as much time in.
The other change to adapt to is around old friendships - the ones you have as you grow up, go to college, etc. As my life and friend's lives move on and enter different stages, the friendships that worked in the past no longer work in our present life and as new people enter my life. I have to stop feeling guilty that maybe I've changed or new friends are taking over roles in my life reserved for past friends.
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