Since I have a knack for going on first dates that never turn into second dates, I'm often forced to wonder if I should change my perspectives. Approximately 50% of these recent encounters were people I wouldn't have minded seeing again but were apparently not interested, and 50% were vice versa. Did this latter half think the same thing in their heads that I thought about the first half (i.e., "I'm not a bad person, why would he/she not want to hang out with me again?")?* In the end, do we all have a false, inflated sense of self?
I've definitely let go of judgments that I used to make, but where is the line between being picky and just plain knowing what you want? As a food lover who isn't too tight with money, I'd prefer to spend time with someone who is willing and able to pay for great experiences and who enjoys a good meal. Also, as a person who isn't boisterous or uber social, I think I could benefit from someone who is.** Meanwhile, this person can be short or tall, metro or sporty, bald or with hair, with any career and background. Is that unreasonable?
As for the theory that I'm overthinking this and it all just comes down to a "feeling" - well, I know plenty of couples who are happy now but definitely did not have a mutual interest in the beginning. So I have no idea how long you're supposed to wait for this "feeling" to materialize.
Or maybe, in the end, it's a crapshoot that simply comes down to timing and luck.
*Let's be honest - some of these were "Who does he think he is to dis ME?!"
**Yes, I realize it's highly unlikely that said boisterous and social guy would want to date a girl who isn't.
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