Thoughts on Women in Tech and Equality

I apologize in advance on my rambling in this post.  If this is to be my online diary and you choose to read it, then this is what you get :)  I also know everyone has their own opinions and perspectives, however these are mine.  I'm not attempting to start an argument, rather putting my thoughts on virtual paper.

Lately, I've been reading so many articles about women in tech.  From how women should behave to succeed to how they have been discriminated.  Being a woman in tech (a successful I would like to think), I don't really see a real truth in either side.  

One of the articles I read today, there was a woman complaining about her coworkers checking out a booth babe.  Now, I have coworkers that check out booth babes, good looking women in Starbucks while I'm with them...but by the same token, I'm commenting on the good looking guy that's walking by.   I feel that if I'm going to dish it out, I should also learn to take it.  I also believe going to an engineering school has taught me to have guy humor, no matter how gross or offensive - I think most guy things are funny.  Now, you can argue that there is a time/place for that - and I agree, work isn't always the right place.  However, if you're out in a dinner/drinks situation (which I usually am), then I think it becomes more of a social engagement.  Rather than focusing on women in tech being discriminated, shouldn't there be a larger argument?  If I don't feel offended with my guy friends making jokes or checking out girls, can I hold my coworkers at dinner at the same standard?

And I do agree, it's harder for women to juggle work and family life.  When most kids are sick, they want their mother.  How does a mother juggle that with working?  However, I lately feel like people (men more than women) judge me for not having children (I promise I'm not making this up, actual comments have been made).  In the interview with the Facebook COO, she clearly states that women shouldn't have to feel guilty to not put her kids to sleep or when she can't take them to their soccer games.  I've worked with many women who have done a great job of juggling both.  I also think it's important to lay those boundaries down (whether its with kids, family, leaving at 5 so you can see some sunshine) early.  I do feel like employers will respect you more.  Especially in this day and age, anything I do at 4, I can do at 9 pm, 6 am the next day.  As long as you can stay true to yourself and feel confident in your decision, that's the most important thing.

I decided to change my profile picture to the equality sign today.  I believe that everyone should have the same rights.  Also, as a scientist (okay now turned software consultant) I believe that being gay/straight is something that is part of your DNA, not something you choose.  I saw someone on Facebook turn her profile picture to the unequal sign, and I can't even express how much that pissed me off.  Who are we (as humans) to tell another human that they aren't equal to us?

I just can't get over how we're still arguing about civil rights, whether it's a man vs. woman, black vs whites, or gay rights - we're all people - don't we deserve the same rights?  

Ni Time

I consider myself part introvert and part extrovert.  As much as I enjoy socializing, I have to balance it out with some time during which I don't have to talk to anyone.  Since I live alone, it's not hard to find that time.  The hard part is disconnecting - at home, my habit is to simultaneously watch TV, gchat, facebook, check out my finances, etc., etc. so that I'm still somehow interacting with the world.

When I found that this past Saturday was entirely mine, with no set plans, I opted to spend the day in San Francisco by myself.  I frequent the city but always schedule it around meeting up with friends/family.  It was a lovely day that went something like this...

8am:  Woke up.  Cursed myself for waking up "early," then realized I had slept for almost 10 hours so it was ok.  Turned on MTV2 to watch Saved by the Bell (YES, it's on every Saturday morning!).

9am:  Rolled out of bed.  Talked to the fam on the phone and wrote some emails.

10am:  Got ready and headed out.

11am:  Hit up the Ferry Plaza Farmers Market.  Made a beeline for some Blue Bottle Coffee.  Got a whole wheat orange and currant scone (sadly, scuffins were sold out).  Sat down near the live music with a view of the Bay Bridge and had my breakfast.  **Note:  I'm too lazy to eat in restaurants alone unless traveling for work.  However, this kind of eating alone is totally doable.

12am:  Sampled fruit and chocolate around the market.  Scoped out the handmade goods.  Wandered over to the stores in the Embarcadero Center.

2pm:  Arrived at Zazen (randomly found through a bloomspot deal) an hour before my scheduled massage.  Opted for a free sonic massage.  This involved listening to a track of sounds for 45 minutes while lying on a water bed that sonicated in time with the track.

3pm:  Began my aromatherapy massage session.

4:30pm:  Left the spa, almost weak from relaxation.

In sum, my point is this:  Even if the only time that you can be alone is during your commute to work, during a nice long shower, or during those 10 minutes when the kids and/or husband are asleep, savor it.  It's kind of awesome.  And necessary.